In hopes of buying new home in Boulder, family reconsiders sale of youngest child Apr27

In hopes of buying new home in Boulder, family reconsiders sale of youngest child

“It’s a real fixer-upper,” warned Skip Fulmer before showing his family the Martin Acres home he’d just put an offer on.  “But once we include Harriet in the all-cash, 20% over-asking price offer, I think we can probably make two bedrooms work.” Fulmer added that he wouldn’t ordinarily give away a child, but Google is going to be coming to Boulder.

Boxcar named best place for someone else to buy you cup of coffee

In a town known for competitive coffee brewing, Boxcar has earned its place as the best place for someone else to buy you a cup of coffee. “This wasn’t an easy decision for me,” said taster Fiona Beecher, 30, who conveniently forgot her wallet at several coffee shops before eventually deciding on Boxcar.  “If I’m meeting someone who seems like they have a fairly blue collar job, I’ll forget my wallet at Ozo, but if it’s one of those days where I need a cappuccino, a couple of doughnuts, a croissant, one of those homemade powerbars and a bag of coffee beans for my house — it’s Boxcar, hands down, every time.”

In sharp protest of recent 9/11 bill, Saudi official threatens to give tablecloths back to Skippers restaurant Apr17

In sharp protest of recent 9/11 bill, Saudi official threatens to give tablecloths back to Skippers restaurant

The Saudi Arabian government has threatened to to return hundreds of billions of dollars’ worth of cheap picnic table style restaurant tablecloths should the U.S. Congress pass a bill that could hold the kingdom responsible for any role in the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks, the New York Times reported on Friday. “We had no role in the 9/11 attacks,” said a spokesman for the totalitarian regime Thursday. “I don’t know how else we can say we’re innocent, other than trying to bribe and threaten you if you try to investigate us,” he said.  “Also, we’re giving back these fucking tablecloths.”

In classic bath salt mix up, Reiki infused bath salt turns out to be infused with Serenity, not Love

Veroniqua Lapis poured a half cup of Reiki infused bath salts in her hot bath Saturday night, only to realize too late that the jar labeled “Love” was actually “Serenity.”  “It was pretty clear, pretty fast,” said Lapis, who was really looking forward to those bath salts.  “I do try to live in the present and take things in stride, but I wish companies would be more conscientious about quality control.” She continued, “this was a huge disappointment for me– especially coming  practically on the heels of the chipotle Norovirus catastrophe.”

In spare time, Brad Feld offers helpful tips on how to cut back ornamental grasses

“If you haven’t already taken the time to cut back the ornamental grasses in your garden, next weekend is going to be the time to put it on the schedule,” wrote Brad Feld in a recent Daily Camera article. Feld, best known for his work as an entrepreneur, author, blogger, venture capitalist, Techstars Co-Founder, art collector and serious marathon runner, is perhaps lesser known for his gardening, semi-professional kite sailing,  horsemanship and the Bonzai tree garden his is cultivating in the solar-powered greenhouse he built in his backyard.  Feld encouraged readers not to delay in cutting back the grasses now, which “helps them send up healthy clumps of new growth and tidies up the remains of last year. It takes about an hour in the morning and an hour at night, but you’ll be thanking me when you realize how much time you have left this summer to brew your own Kombucha and and run a venture fund.”

Barista wastes another shift waiting for someone to ask his opinions on David Foster Wallace

I’ve been working here at the The Coffee Shoppe for almost seven months, and I think I’ve made it pretty nonverbally clear that I’m not here because I have some perverse fascination with coffee beans or because I enjoy making meaningless chit chat with your average customer, or God forbid, the horse’s ass who comes in here for a decaf sugar free vanilla latte. And I’m not just another BILF,” said a frustrated Senior Barista Lawrence Arthur Wright-Steiner on Tuesday morning. “Anyone with a keen and observant eye who also takes the time to listen to the records I’ve selected could probably guess that I’m a double English Philosophy major. I’ve also left several hints, such as not using the cash register to make change, that would suggest I’m pretty good at math.  I wear an apron with leather straps for chrissakes.  I’ve got a man bun. Frankly, I don’t know what else I can do to get someone to ask me my opinion on David Foster Wallace. Yeah, I know.  The answer to that is your prototypical non-directly-observable-entity.”

Vitamin Cottage clears out on Super Tuesday Mar02

Vitamin Cottage clears out on Super Tuesday

Despite it being Kombucha night at Vitamin Cottage, Boulder’s residents made a strong showing at Tuesday’s Caucus. “This caucus was not just an opportunity to  exercise our liberty and celebrate the often confusing and archaic art of democracy, but it’s also nice to get out and meet other KUNC listeners,” said Stacy Sternbot of Shanahan Ridge, who was packed into a middle school auditorium with 400 other Bernie Sanders fans.  “It’s also a great opportunity to find out if Tom’s lemongrass deodorant really works.”