ISIS women’s clothing line to rethink new line of teen wedding dresses Sep21

ISIS women’s clothing line to rethink new line of teen wedding dresses

ISIS outdoor women’s gear may not be launching its much awaited line of teen and pre-teen wedding dresses after all.  “It’s just a little unclear whether the timing is right for this particular line right now,” said spokesperson Janet Eckles. “We like the cuts, we love the color concepts, but based on initial feedback, we worry that this might turn out to be the most controversial launch since we tried to do paisley ski parkas.”

Apple introduces new “adopt your own Chinese teen” program that includes new iphone every month

Last week Apple introduced an upgrade program available in Apple Stores in the U.S. that will allow buyers to enter into a 24-month payment plan with an option to upgrade for a new iPhone every year. It starts at $32 per month and includes AppleCare+. Then yesterday the company introduced the upgrade++  plan.  For $42 each month, Apple explained, you not only get AppleCare+ but you also get a dedicated Chinese teenager whose waking hours will be spent making you a new iPhone each month.

Cycling app takes guesswork out of measuring your worth as human being Aug31

Cycling app takes guesswork out of measuring your worth as human being

“Before Strava, people rode their bikes for fun and exercise,” said Strava spokesman Brian Denning. “And that was ok, except that going out and having a good time didn’t answer the question, how much better are you than other people?  For that kind of information, you had to rely on crude tools that didn’t involve icons of trophies or public rankings: tools like  Facebook, Instagram and whether or not you went to Middlebury. We set out to change all that, and we did it a lot better than anyone else, a lot better.

Ashley Madison user forced to tearfully admit to still using aol Aug25

Ashley Madison user forced to tearfully admit to still using aol

After being caught redhanded on Ashley Madison, user  Chester Longbert was forced to admit to still having an aol email account. “I’m not proud of this moment,” said Longbert in an Instant Message  sent to reporters Monday. “I’ve been meaning for a long time to  upgrade my email service, but obviously I’ve made some poor decisions. Those bad decisions are going to stop today, starting with me signing up for Hotmail.”

Pasta Jays preps garlic bread topping in advance of CU move-in weekend

“It’s a big weekend for Pasta Jays,” said head chef Mark Martinez Thursday, as he stirred a 37 gallon vat of garlic bread topping.  “You wouldn’t guess it, but move-in weekend is number actually my #2 garlic bread weekend. The Nebraska game weekend is easily number one. I keep thinking we’re going to slow down, but I think it’s impossible to come to the middle of Colorado  without thinking “authentic Italian food.”  I don’t mean to complain. I’m guessing Lachlan is dealing with his own steaming vat of garlic bread topping right now, which is somewhat comforting.”

Woman reluctantly admits to love of laughter Aug19

Woman reluctantly admits to love of laughter

“I didn’t think I’d ever find someone else who loves to laugh,” admitted Nick Flemming Thursday, as he enthusiastically swiped right. “And then I saw Nicole’s profile. I was initially reluctant because I noticed that she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. But then I noticed that she loves adventure, which explains why she wouldn’t want to be constrained by a seatbelt.  But seatbelt or no seatbelt, when it comes down to it, I too love to laugh and hope that I can find a life partner that is always laughing. Laughing, taking spin classes, swimming, and laughing some more. And, of course, sitting in a parked car with no seatbelt taking selfies.”

Coffee shop installs bag dispenser for your new App idea

Last week, several Boulder baristas and baristos took it upon themselves to do something about a situation that was becoming intolerable. “We had to trade 13 scones for this dispenser, but we wanted one that wasn’t going to break or run out of bags,” said barista Teri Pater.  “You’d be surprised at how many people come in here with an app idea they want to throw around, and then  they might have 2 or 3 more app ideas once they finish their double Americano.  We just figured, someone has to do something with the app ideas, and it’s not going to be them.  Here’s our suggestion: take a free bag.”