Social outcast not interested in talking about Game of Thrones May20

Social outcast not interested in talking about Game of Thrones

Friends looked helplessly at one another Sunday when Megan Rogers got up to go to the bathroom right in the middle of an important conversation about Game of Thrones. “We used to like Megan when we were into Downton Abbey. She was the kind of person you could talk to. That was the old Megan.” But I have to be honest, now that she’s told everyone she’s not ‘into’ GOT, it’s hard to know what to say to her, if anything.”    

Waylon also “not crazy” about bathroom tile selection at Ozo

“I have a fair amount of concerns about the changes new Trident owners might make to a coffee shop which I have come to consider my own,” Trident patron Waylon Stewart disclosed to the Daily Camera Monday – raising eyebrows about what he might be talking about and why anyone should care. But Stewart had more to say in a press release Tuesday in which he gently suggested that while neighboring Ozo was a step up from Bart’s Record Shop, and had the best customer service in town, he wasn’t crazy about the tile color in the men’s room. “I know it’s supposed to be eggshell white,” he wrote, “but it comes off as more of a vanilla. I don’t think anyone wants to see these kinds of well-intended mistakes continue happening to a town we all care deeply about, though clearly, no one more than I.”

Younger child included in all-cash offer for Boulder home Apr27

Younger child included in all-cash offer for Boulder home

“It’s a real fixer-upper,” warned Skip Fulmer before showing his family the Martin Acres home he’d just put an offer on.  “But once we include Harriet in the all-cash, 20% over-asking price offer, I think we can probably make two bedrooms work.” Fulmer added that he wouldn’t ordinarily give away a child, but Google is going to be coming to Boulder.

In classic bath salt mix up, Reiki infused bath salt turns out to be infused with Serenity, not Love

Veroniqua Lapis poured a half cup of Reiki infused bath salts in her hot bath Saturday night, only to realize too late that the jar labeled “Love” was actually “Serenity.”  “It was pretty clear, pretty fast,” said Lapis, who was really looking forward to those bath salts.  “I do try to live in the present and take things in stride, but I wish companies would be more conscientious about quality control.” She continued, “this was a huge disappointment for me– especially coming  practically on the heels of the chipotle Norovirus catastrophe.”

Barista wastes another shift waiting for someone to ask his opinions on David Foster Wallace

I’ve been working here at the The Coffee Shoppe for almost seven months, and I think I’ve made it pretty nonverbally clear that I’m not here because I have some perverse fascination with coffee beans or because I enjoy making meaningless chit chat with your average customer, or God forbid, the horse’s ass who comes in here for a decaf sugar free vanilla latte. And I’m not just another BILF,” said a frustrated Senior Barista Lawrence Arthur Wright-Steiner on Tuesday morning. “Anyone with a keen and observant eye who also takes the time to listen to the records I’ve selected could probably guess that I’m a double English Philosophy major. I’ve also left several hints, such as not using the cash register to make change, that would suggest I’m pretty good at math.  I wear an apron with leather straps for chrissakes.  I’ve got a man bun. Frankly, I don’t know what else I can do to get someone to ask me my opinion on David Foster Wallace. Yeah, I know.  The answer to that is your prototypical non-directly-observable-entity.”

Crispin Porter designer leaves office, fails to see shadow, returns to cubicle for another six weeks

When Guy Rogers unclasped his ankle bracelet to leave the Gunbarrel headquarters of Crispin Porter + Bogusky  Friday, he was half hoping to see his shadow, half hoping not to.  “I guess I have mixed feelings on leaving the office,” said Rogers, who hasn’t brushed his teeth since Monday. “I think we all remember that scene in Shawshank Redemption when Brooks gets paroled,” he explained.  “From my point of view, it won’t be long until I’m promoted to working on the mock-campaign for Fruit of the Loom where guys are wearing saran wrap underwear over their underwear.  Plus, I’m at extremely low risk of melanoma.”