Snoop Dogg to appear in BK hot dog training video, answering age old question about what happens to former rappers who don’t get shot to death

Burger King is introducing hot dogs and chili dogs in 7000 stores next month. But first, the chain will train employees on the complexities of hot dog cooking, which are rumored to include taking the frozen meat out of a plastic bag and putting it on the grill next to the hamburgers, and then putting the rubbery meat onto a bun and handing it to a hooker at 3am.  The instructional  video will feature the star of such films as Doggumentary and Doggystyle rapping about warming up meat in the back of a fast food kitchen, finally answering the age old question of what happens to former rap stars who don’t get shot.

Number of women assaulted by Bill Cosby now officially outnumbers the total number of women who have ever watched The History Channel’s Civil Wa...

On Wednesday, Bill Cosby was charged with aggravated indecent assault for allegedly drugging and sexually assaulting Andrea Costand in 2004, bringing the total number of women who have come forward to accuse the comedian of assault over several decades to 55.  To the History Channel, this number is significant because it represents the total number of women who have ever tuned into the channel’s Civil War Journal. Controversially, the 55 figure includes one woman, Ethel Werner, who was recovering from pneumonia in the hospital and was simply too weak to reach the remote control.

After Star Wars show sells out, guy dressed as Ewok opts for indy lesbian love story Jan02

After Star Wars show sells out, guy dressed as Ewok opts for indy lesbian love story

When Harry Stillman showed up too late Friday to get tickets to Star Wars: A Force Awakens, he opted instead for Carol, a drama about two women who become entrapped in a forbidden love affair in the 1950s. “While Rooney Mara gracefully evoked Audrey Hepburn, and Blanchett was convincing as a temptress, ultimately the plot moved too slowly, lacked theatrical punch, and so loosely drifted against the backdrop of McCarthy hearings that I never felt them tearing apart the emotional fabric of the love affair,” said Stillman. He added: “On the other hand, the cinematography was elegant, and I will not just be shocked, but disappointed if Carol isn’t nominated in the costume design category this year.”

Longmont hits puberty

In a sign that Longmont has, at long last, reached puberty, the town is getting its first Whole Foods. “It’s an exciting time for all of us,” said a visibly moved Boulder woman who’s estranged niece has been living in Longmont. “If one of the signs of being an adult is eating cheese that hasn’t been dyed orange, pre-sliced and shrink-wrapped, then I think think it’s safe to say that Longmont’s testicles just dropped.” Longmont residents are excited as well.  In a telegraph message that went out on Friday, city officials announced: “It’s time to shake off the nickname ‘Longtucky’ with a kohlrabi party, whatever that is.” And whatever it is, partygoers will surely find out how it tastes cooked into a casserole with cream of mushroom soup and  french onion soup packets. ”  (MH)

Nation growing weary of waiting for far North Broomfield to connect to Sheridan underpass

For hikers, bikers, and runners and commuters alike — the Broomfield Trail just became more connected. “Broomfield residents who are growing tired of getting in their cars every time they want to pay a visit to the Sheridan underpass just got an early Christmas present,” said Cindy Aries, Deputy director of Broomfield Open Space and Trails at a ribbon cutting ceremony held earlier today. “This isn’t just a victory for dogwalkers and rollerbladers. It’s a victory for all of us who are ready to take the car culture out of suburbia.  Now, for families who want to go to Costco but don’t want to pollute the environment, there’s a better, carbon neutral option. And that option is a bicycle with a huge, huge cart dragging behind it.”

Apple introduces new “adopt your own Chinese teen” program that includes new iphone every month

Last week Apple introduced an upgrade program available in Apple Stores in the U.S. that will allow buyers to enter into a 24-month payment plan with an option to upgrade for a new iPhone every year. It starts at $32 per month and includes AppleCare+. Then yesterday the company introduced the upgrade++  plan.  For $42 each month, Apple explained, you not only get AppleCare+ but you also get a dedicated Chinese teenager whose waking hours will be spent making you a new iPhone each month.