After careful deliberation, freshman decides on Hendrix and Animal House posters for dorm Nov28

After careful deliberation, freshman decides on Hendrix and Animal House posters for dorm

After several trips to Urban Outfitters’ basement level, Ben Lamin decided Thursday that his side of the dorm will feature a semi-nude Jimi Hendrix poster and the  Animal House poster where “some famous actor” is wearing a College sweatshirt. The choices are “totally old school,” while at the same time conveying how much Lamin likes to party, at least theoretically.

CU couple still enjoying sex, even though they’ve been going out since August Oct20

CU couple still enjoying sex, even though they’ve been going out since August

“Ryan and I have some special something that just keeps the sex feeling so fresh and new. I can’t explain it,” said CU sophomore Stacie Criller in a recent Facebook past. “I just never thought I’d be so content in a long term relationship.”

Bronco Cheerleaders Release Calendar to Inspire Fans in Privacy of Own Bedroom

Denver Bronco Cheerleaders released their annual calendar this week – exciting fans in and out of the stands.  ”Nothing gets me more riled up for a football game than going into my bathroom for a good long look at which days of the month go with which days of the week,” said calendar purchaser Brett Robbins. “What’s so great about football for me is that I can get pumped up about our home team even though I’ve never watched a football game in my life, and never would.”  

President Obama Intent on Winning over Boulder Voters

As the DNC heated up in Charlotte, NC, a reluctant Obama urged Democratic Party Monday to “go ahead and start” without him. The President insisted that he’d “be right there” as soon as he won over Colorado’s last conservative stronghold. “I personally believe Boulder has a lot of potential to vote “D” this election. I carry a message of hope and change and those are the sorts of things young people care about, even those on college campuses who drive bicycles and Subarus and don’t eat meat.”

In Historic Moment, The Sink Visited by Black Man

“At first, when I looked up from my burger, I was like ‘shit man, there’s some guy in a tie at the sink,’” said Junior Walter Rogers. “Then I looked harder, and realized it wasn’t just some guy, it was a black guy!  I’m pretty sure that moment is going to go a long way in debunking the myth that this campus is full of ignorant white kids.”

Police Tie Ribbons Around Campus to Make sure no one Forgets to Get Stoned on 4/20 Apr20

Police Tie Ribbons Around Campus to Make sure no one Forgets to Get Stoned on 4/20

“I can’t believe I almost forgot it was 4/20,” said CU Junior Stacie French. “Thankfully, the CU administration was thoughtful enough to alert the media, hire a band, and create a situation where it’s going to be almost impossible for anyone to stay sober without feeling like they’re completely missing out.”