Martin Acres 3-year-olds start bridge club

Eleanor, Sadie, Evelyn, Vera, Ava and Belle met for their first bridge club Monday night.  “It’s high time,” commented Belle, who had spilled a lot of marshmallow jello casserole down her shirt. “I just hope those bitches Vivian, Alice, Elsie, Pearl, Greta,  and Penelope don’t show up.” “Agreed,” said Vera. “Let’s keep the gals from knitting club out of this. This way, we can start at 4PM, have dinner, and be in bed by 7.”

Mommy blog wants just “5 minutes” to self

“These women demand constant attention,” complained one mommy blog on Thursday, “‘what should I keep in my stocked pool bag? Do I need to chill the sunscreen in the fridge? How many plastic bibs is enough? Should I buy the baby leggings with the antler prints or go with a safer Navajo print? I’m so busy I don’t have time to sleep or shower. What if my baby doesn’t like Navajo?’ I just need – like – 5 minutes to myself. These people are unrelenting. Sometimes I feel really isolated and alone, and then I remember that there are 3,900,000 other mommy blogs out there.”

Arrested Development fans finally have new show to reference obsessively

For Arrested Development fans who have run out of things to say about the show, which has been off the air since 2006, there is now a new show that has stepped in to allow them to showcase their off-beat, dry, and witty sense of humor.