Cold, rainy weather gives climber day off to masturbate all morning May20

Cold, rainy weather gives climber day off to masturbate all morning

Cold, gloomy boulder weather over the weekend gave local rock climber Justin Posen a chance to catch up on some much needed masturbation. “I don’t love cold weather,” admitted Posen on Saturday, “but I do love Game of Thrones, and I do love lying in bed until noon jerking off.”   (JB, sort of)

Scientists find that talking about workouts offsets any exercise-induced cognitive gains

British researchers in 2015 used a database of information about the health and habits of twins to show that muscle health was linked to cognitive abilities throughout life.  However, a disturbing side effect was that many of the gains were offset by the amount a person talked about his or her exercise regimen. “We found a troubling amount of empty brain space in people who were physically inactive, in people who talked about their workouts, and in the people who got stuck listening,” according to the study.  The alarming results of the cognitive losses – over a year – were roughly equivalent to watching an entire season of Keeping up with the Kardashians..

Study: 97% of the time woman leaves room, man farts Oct18

Study: 97% of the time woman leaves room, man farts

A new study published in the New England Journal Of Medicine Tuesday reveals just how frequently men are farting when a woman leaves the room. The study reported that men are farting 97 out of every 100 times a woman gets up to go to another room, about 10% more often than most people thought.  “We need to qualify the findings,” cautioned one of the co-authors of the study. “First of all, these are early findings.  Second, we’re not talking about actual numbers of farts, or even the type of fart, but just whether or not there was a fart. Still, it’s a little troubling. I think most of us would have guessed the numbers would be much, much lower, maybe 70, 80% at most.”.

Apple introduces new “adopt your own Chinese teen” program that includes new iphone every month

Last week Apple introduced an upgrade program available in Apple Stores in the U.S. that will allow buyers to enter into a 24-month payment plan with an option to upgrade for a new iPhone every year. It starts at $32 per month and includes AppleCare+. Then yesterday the company introduced the upgrade++  plan.  For $42 each month, Apple explained, you not only get AppleCare+ but you also get a dedicated Chinese teenager whose waking hours will be spent making you a new iPhone each month..

Fart is as excited as anyone about the end of yoga class

“I feel guilty saying this, but this yoga class had better end really fucking soon because I don’t know how much longer I can take this,” said a fart in Monday’s 6:00AM Vinyasa 2 class as it desperately  clutched the walls of Elaine  Rolling’s descending colon. “I don’t mean to diminish the importance of  yoga in my own spiritual and interpersonal growth, or my genuine affection for plow pose, but for the love of all things holy, please let me out of here.”.

iTunes 11.3 (53) update simultaneously interrupted by both and 11.3 (54) and 11.3 (55)

“I lost track of which iTunes version I was on in 2004,” said Kerry McConnolly Wednesday as she attempted to get up to date on her iTunes versions. “I don’t want to be the one still using iTunes 11.3 (53) when everyone else is on 11.5 (98),” said McConnolly, 34. “So here I am, just kind of wandering around in a fog with my Air Jordans on and no idea what version I’m even running. Then I start downloading updates.  I just tell myself that if I keep downloading, eventually my songs will appear in a list on my screen. And when I click one, it will play. Well, you never know.”.