Computrainer class takes blue pill

Choosing the blue pill Friday, a team of CAC members simulated a a bike ride in a small, dark room where their legs’ power output was digitally reproduced in a fictional, unblemished universe where better-looking avatars competed for top speeds on illusory roads. As cyclist Tonhee Rolls plugged into the computer system Friday, she explained the choice. “First of all, I don’t eat red dye number 5. Second, the blue pill? Guess what? Zero carbs.”

Mall escalator celebrates 5th year as public art installation Feb26

Mall escalator celebrates 5th year as public art installation

“When we first installed the ‘escalator’ exhibit, a lot of people thought it would be a way to travel between the 1st floor of the mall and the movie theaters,” said 29th Street Mall curator Desiree D’Nie-D’Napolo. “They didn’t understand that this piece was the physical manifestation of the idea of an escalator. They said ‘why would anyone put a complicated electronic piece of equipment outdoors in a place that gets about 4 months of snow in the winter, 100 degree temperatures in the summer,  and driving winds in the spring and fall?’ — which just goes to show that people in Boulder just don’t get art. I mean,  just look at all of those people still trying to use 36 as a highway.”

Boulder urban renewal to create safe neighborhoods for upper upper-middle class whites

While many Boulder residents are welcoming downtown urban renewal projects with excitement, some are worried about what rising home prices will do to the character of neighborhoods. “We value having residents who shop at Alfalfas, but also having residents who shop at Whole Foods,” said downtown Boulder neighborhood association member Nick Healy.  “The question is, how can we attract upper upper-middle class residents without forcing out the middle-upper class?”

NCAR scientists get loose Dec27

NCAR scientists get loose

When four scientists slipped out from behind their triple screen monitors Tuesday, most of their co-workers thought they were going to the cafeteria for coffee, or maybe a plastic container of instant pudding.”I never would have imagined that they would just walk out of the building like that, in broad daylight, no NCAR mini-bus in sight,” said Hal Shephard, Deputy Lead Project Manager with the Department of Atmospheric Science. “I just hope that they take advantage of this break to have a good time, get some drinks and maybe do a little shopping at the wizard store.”

Release of “The Interview” has Americans asking themselves if they value freedom of speech enough to sit through James Franco movie

While millions of Americans applauded Sony’s decision to release “The Interview” into theaters, it put most of them in the awkward position of feeling like now they had an obligation to watch the film. “My desire not to see James Franco act or speak on camera is competing with my sense of patriotic duty right now,” said Boulder’s Pete Edgar on Friday. “It’s the classic Phantom Menace dilemma: can I still call myself an American without actually watching this movie?”        

Woman dropped during spin class Dec14

Woman dropped during spin class

Just when Fran Spalanker thought spin class couldn’t get any closer to simulating a group ride, she got dropped Tuesday by the rest of class. “It was a zone 3 & 4 day” explained the instructor. “We don’t like to drop anyone in spin, but Fran was having trouble keeping up. I think the problem was that when everyone else was making quarter turns to the right, Fran was making 1/6 of a turn to the right. She didn’t think anyone would notice, but she was wrong.”

Homeless man and Amy Poehler agree that “taking risks and making choices is what makes life so exciting” Dec02

Homeless man and Amy Poehler agree that “taking risks and making choices is what makes life so exciting”

Amy Poehler writes in her new book Yes, Please! that taking risks and making choices is what makes life so exciting. “These are words to live by” said James Riehner, a local alcoholic drug addict. “I couldn’t have said it better myself. Anyone who tells you to  play by the rules and take the predictable, reliable route in life hasn’t seen the excitement of a knife fight under a bridge at 4am in 20 degree weather conducted entirely with shards of glass.”